haiku-usa

A blog devoted mainly to haiku and senryu and to thoughts about, and inspired by, haiku and senryu.

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Location: New York, New York

Haiku is to poetry as espresso is to coffee.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

warm

first warm night
trust me
she says

Left as a comment at Andrew's blog

posted by Bill | 6:12 AM

8 Comments:

Blogger polona said...

unseasonal warmth
he doesn't bother
to find an excuse

Bill, feel free to post my coffee haiku alongside yours. we have daily "horoscopes" in many papers, too...

9:22 AM  
Blogger Bill said...

Thank you, Polona. I'll post our ku on Tuesday or Wednesday.

11:44 AM  
Blogger Iris said...

we used to say different things feeling warm; I like which is unspoken in this haiku :)

10:08 AM  
Blogger Bill said...

Thanks, Iris. I'd agree this is all about what's unspoken.

10:26 AM  
Blogger Rita Odeh said...

I like the human side in your poems in general. I think that you can add more layers to this senryu.
I feel that the unspoken is clear and expected. It doesn't produce the surprise or aha moment.

10:53 AM  
Blogger Bill said...

I appreciate your comment, Rita. My intention was to juxtapose two kinds of uncertainty:

2)1) in the relationship between human and nature, does the first warm night mean spring has arrived,or is nature just up to her old tricks?

2) In human relationships, does her "trust me" mean I should, or is she up to her old tricks? I'm sure somebody's grandmother once said never trust anyone who says "trust me."

But, as your comment reminds me, the writer's intention and the meaning the reader finds (or doesn't) in the poem are not necessarily the same.

12:22 PM  
Blogger Monika said...

Very interesting, your little discussion with Rita ! And very good, your senryû

première nuit chaude
fais-moi confiance
dit-elle

12:56 PM  
Blogger Bill said...

Thank you, Monika. Another fine translation.

8:59 AM  

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