haiku-usa: reason to smile

Monday, April 18, 2005

In a senryu mood

reason to smile

this time the birds attacked

his neighbor's car

Bill said...: That's what comes of reading. In fact, I had intended "my," but I read a string of senryu, all in the third person, and I thought I might be out of line. I'll reconsider, and thanks.; 8:46 PM
floots said...: I'm not as technically clued up as you guys. (I quite liked the third person - and the knowledge that you were "hiding" behind it.) My malice must be closer to the surface: I had to comment on this because, as soon as I read it, I smiled, and a smile is a great gift to open at the start of the day.; 12:37 AM
Bill said...: Floots: Thanks for your contribution. I think the third person works fine. I don't hink anyone seriously thinks I meant the bird's neighbor, and "his," for most of us, in this context means "his yours mine ours." But "my" works too. It just works a little differently. It lends a kind of wry confessional tone, and the question is does such a tone belong here in particular or in senryu in general. On that last point, I'd be glad to get more comments. Your comment and DW's are just the kind of thing I was hoping for when, at the urging of my son, I set up this blog.; 5:56 AM
Bill said...: DW: I like the stinger in your senryu.; 5:59 AM

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