haiku-usa

A blog devoted mainly to haiku and senryu and to thoughts about, and inspired by, haiku and senryu.

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Location: New York, New York

Haiku is to poetry as espresso is to coffee.

Monday, April 18, 2005

reason to smile

In a senryu mood

reason to smile
this time the birds attacked
his neighbor's car

6 Comments:

Blogger Gone Away said...

:^D (the bird's neighbor, or someone else's?)Would the punch line be funnier if you admitted it was your reason to smile, i.e., "my"? gggg (c'mon, it's a senryu with sarcasm and irony -- and we all have a vindictive streak somewhere...except for your's truly:

-MOAWW
(which, when spoken, ironically, sounds like "moi" :^o)

after the brain scan
the doctor says he has found
nothing there (:^DWB)

12:52 PM  
Blogger Bill said...

That's what comes of reading. In fact, I had intended "my," but I read a string of senryu, all in the third person, and I thought I might be out of line. I'll reconsider, and thanks.

8:46 PM  
Blogger floots said...

I'm not as technically clued up as you guys. (I quite liked the third person - and the knowledge that you were "hiding" behind it.) My malice must be closer to the surface: I had to comment on this because, as soon as I read it, I smiled, and a smile is a great gift to open at the start of the day.

12:37 AM  
Blogger Bill said...

Floots: Thanks for your contribution. I think the third person works fine. I don't hink anyone seriously thinks I meant the bird's neighbor, and "his," for most of us, in this context means "his yours mine ours." But "my" works too. It just works a little differently. It lends a kind of wry confessional tone, and the question is does such a tone belong here in particular or in senryu in general. On that last point, I'd be glad to get more comments. Your comment and DW's are just the kind of thing I was hoping for when, at the urging of my son, I set up this blog.

5:56 AM  
Blogger Bill said...

DW: I like the stinger in your senryu.

5:59 AM  
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7:49 AM  

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