haiku-usa

A blog devoted mainly to haiku and senryu and to thoughts about, and inspired by, haiku and senryu.

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Location: New York, New York

Haiku is to poetry as espresso is to coffee.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

before a Rubens

This one has been revised since the original post. Some comments indicated there was a problem of clarity in the original. My thanks to Anonymous Poet and Jim.
stooped over his cane
before a Rubens—
his gaze travels upwards

8 Comments:

Blogger eden said...

keep writing , i'll promise to comeback!

9:28 AM  
Blogger Anonymous Poet said...

Who is "his" ?

5:43 PM  
Blogger Bill said...

anonymous poet: the elderly man stooped over his cane, whose gaze travels upward because that's the only way he can see the artwork.

7:56 PM  
Blogger Anonymous Poet said...

OK.

8:12 PM  
Anonymous jim said...

Isn't a bit of the mischief that one of the "his" (namely the 2nd) could be more obscure in its meaning --the figure in the Reubens' painting, or, stretching it perhaps, Reubens, whose gaze travels upwards because that's the only way he can find god-given inspiration or some such thing.

Well that's a stretch -- but the 1st of the alternate meanings for the 2nd "his" still comes pretty easy to me.

I've confused myself.

3:51 AM  
Blogger Bill said...

"before" was meant to situate the gazer in front of the picture, rather than in it, but I see that you could read it as "here's what I see in the Rubens as I stand before it," which would be closer to the possibilities you mention. Since you're the reader, you can tell me if it works that way. I have no problem with ambiguity as long as it doesn't become confusion.

9:03 AM  
Blogger Anonymous Poet said...

I like this version. I am glad that I could be of help.

7:43 PM  
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7:49 AM  

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