haiku-usa

A blog devoted mainly to haiku and senryu and to thoughts about, and inspired by, haiku and senryu.

My Photo
Name:
Location: New York, New York

Haiku is to poetry as espresso is to coffee.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

rain

rain at the window
your breath carried to me
on a whisper

11 Comments:

Blogger Aurora said...

WOW! Has this been published yet?

8:09 PM  
Blogger Bill said...

This gathered a grand total of 2 points in the latest kukai, aurora. I've changed the first line (improved it, I believe); "blizzard" was the required kigo in the kukai.

8:21 PM  
Blogger Aurora said...

"rain" and "breath" mesh better together than "blizzard". You should submit the revised version somewhere.

8:43 PM  
Blogger floots said...

stunning bill
loved it

11:59 PM  
Blogger Pat Paulk said...

Wonderful!!

8:30 AM  
Blogger polona said...

lovely sensual image!
yes, rain in L1 works so much better for me than blizzard.

12:30 PM  
Blogger Bill said...

aurora, floots, pat, and polona, thanks. I never got the "blizzard" line right, in the original.

7:11 PM  
Blogger J. Andrew Lockhart said...

beautiful!

9:54 PM  
Blogger Masago said...

Nice job.

9:22 PM  
Blogger Bill said...

Thanks andrew and Vaughn.

2:04 PM  
Blogger indonesianegriku said...

thank's for sharing info,..!
Kerja Keras Adalah Energi Kita
INDONESIA BUMIKU

6:58 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

.