They keep coming. This is a slightly revised version of a ku I posted at jem's blog as a response to one of hers. You can see her work and the earlier version of this by clicking on "jem" to the left
You really enrich our comments sections with your additions. It makes me wonder how far a single haiku could go if each person tweaked it a little. Like chinese whispers.
devika, now you can see what jem said of it. Remember, haiku is the least explanatory form of poetry. Its keynotes (following Cor van den Heuvel) are: 1. awareness; 2. perception 3. suggestiveness. Or, as Robert Wilson says, not the rose but the scent of the rose.
Thanks to both of you, and to Vaughn, magyar, gautami, and polona.
Very pretty...and it makes perfect sense to me...if one wants to read it in a literal way: shadows of leafless branches seeming to brush the red brick...or maybe not...there's a lot there....
14 Comments:
"ku" -??
like me, you to have no form? i mean, in poetry -- :-)
i know it isn't fair to dissect it further,but this makes no sense to me!
like to see what jem said of it-
wishes!
devika
Whisking shadows.
Well done, John.
_M
Very atmospheric..
Great to see you put this up here too Bill.
You really enrich our comments sections with your additions. It makes me wonder how far a single haiku could go if each person tweaked it a little. Like chinese whispers.
excellent in its own right and a great complement to the original
devika, now you can see what jem said of it. Remember, haiku is the least explanatory form of poetry. Its keynotes (following Cor van den Heuvel) are: 1. awareness; 2. perception 3. suggestiveness. Or, as Robert Wilson says, not the rose but the scent of the rose.
Thanks to both of you, and to Vaughn, magyar, gautami, and polona.
beautiful imagery. :)
Thanks, kouji.
Hi Bill!
i understand...but you said about it as "a version of a ku" in your intro note...
so i was not going by the rules of Haiku here :-)
wishes!
devika
devika, "ku" is short for haiku.
oh, i see :-)
wishes!
devika
wiping
dust free sky --
the wintry wind
Nice image, tikkis. I think
wiping the sky
free of dust
might be more idiomatic English.
Okay, devika!
Very pretty...and it makes perfect sense to me...if one wants to read it in a literal way: shadows of leafless branches seeming to brush the red brick...or maybe not...there's a lot there....
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