haiku-usa: happy hour

Saturday, March 15, 2008

he tells me again

he doesn't miss her

(Published in Sketchbook)

floots said...: i thought this guy only ever stood next to me :)
this says so much bill
thank you; 1:04 AM
haiku-shelf said...: a good senryû, Bill!

the repetition (".../he.../he...") works so well

when "he" is really "happy" "he" will have no time to talk with you...(it will be so nice to talk with "her"...); 3:05 AM
jem said...: I'm sure we have all been on one end or the other of this scene. No matter how many times he says it, it will never be true.; 7:22 AM
polona said...: one can feel the underlying sadness... excellent.; 11:13 AM
Bill said...: floots, Angelika, Jem. polona, it's a pleasure to find such sensitive readers.; 4:09 PM
gautami tripathy said...: It does seem he is lonely!; 6:22 PM
Bill said...: I'd say so, gautami.; 7:13 PM
John McDonald said...: love it great one bill
john; 10:22 AM
J. Andrew Lockhart said...: there's a sadness in this,; 9:57 PM
Tikkis said...: I agree with all these comments, a great poem!

I blame God for
making life so
boring --

(Jack Kerouac, Book of Sketches p.283); 3:09 AM
Bill said...: Thanks John, andrew, and tikkis. And, tikkis, check out today's post.; 6:20 PM
Ella Wagemakers said...: The alliteration and repetition work well here, Bill. And don't we always happen to know someone like this? Great senryu!

happy hour
the old man watches
a pole dancer

:>) Ella; 6:38 PM
Bill said...: Ella, have you been spying on me?; ); 7:52 PM

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