surrogate, with alternative
surrogate:
the baby handed over,
her womb is hers again
("India Nurtures Business of Surrogate Motherhood," NY Times, 10 March 2008)
***
In this senryu as originally posted, the phrase "handed over" is from the original news story. Since posting it, I thought of an alternative that might say it a bit more powerfully. Or not.
surrogate:
the baby delivered,
her womb is hers again
My thought is that "delivered" refers to the birth itself and to the "handing over."
posted by Bill | 6:43 AM
13 Comments:
what a thought! well noted bill
john
but never the same again...
poignant
Thanks, John and polona. I'm posting a slightly altered version that occurred to me later today.
I have to admit I have little experience with this type of poetry. But I do enjoy it, as I did this one. With each new one that is written and I read, I learn. Thank you for that.
T
I agree, Bill. Both are nice, though.
i think the use of 'handed over' adds a serious note of commerce in the situation of surrogates, while delivers pivots and softens the issue involved
both poems gives snapshots into credible present day human issues.
much love
gillena
...and I wonder, Bill. "Does the proxy ever wonder?" _m
Thanks, T. Which type of poetry do you mean--haiku/senryu in general or, more specifically, this kind of topical verse?
Thanks for the input, andrew.
Sensitive reading, gillena.
And a good thought, magyar.
i agree with you as andrew said
i also began thinking about the word surrogate
sorrowgate sounds like a fictional london borough in a dickens novel
(maybe i should go now and chop some wood) :)
supplied?
To continue Gillena: handed over sounds bad for me, and to deliver is slightly sterile? But in this case 'delivering' is in right place also?
"sorrowgate." Good thought, floots.
In the US, tikkis "delivery" is one way of saying birth. But it also means getting a package to a consumer. "supplied" is a good thought, too.
And they never ask the baby later how it felt about it! Isn't that ironic? The real mother is the surrogate one, and the surrogate mother the real one. Shows you how we corrupt definitions.
Ella
*who came from a turning cradle
You're absolutely right about our abuses of language, Ella. "surrogate mother" is a monstrous formation, rivalling "assisted suicide" in its radical incoherence. No wonder it's so difficult to talk sensibly about compicated issues.
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