A blog devoted mainly to haiku and senryu and to thoughts about, and inspired by, haiku and senryu.

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Location: New York, New York

Haiku is to poetry as espresso is to coffee.

Friday, March 29, 2013

maiden aunt

my maiden aunt
the upright piano
no one ever played

This is the one that was published in A Hundred Gourds. The editor, Lorin  Ford, did not choose this one over the other;  this is the one I sent her.

I'll add a comment after I've given you a chance to make yours.


Blogger Iris said...

Hi Bill
hmm, quite ambiguous haiku

11:30 AM  
Blogger Bill said...

Thanks for your comments on both of these, Iris.

2:39 PM  
Blogger Magyar said...

__Maiden aunt or grandmother... we can all relate.
__In my case, it was my Grandmother's. But... when we visited... my Dad stabbed away at that "rather tinny sounding" keyboard.
__Sorry to be so wordy here, but thank you, Bill, for shaking my memory!

6:27 PM  
Blogger Bill said...

Thanks, Doug. Good words.

7:59 PM  
Blogger Frank... said...

A haiku that a lot of people can identify with. As a boy, I remember my grandmother had a piano in the front room...

5:06 AM  
Blogger Gillena Cox said...

a classic scene sketched with brush of a sumie mind; i enjoyed this a lot

much love...

7:56 AM  
Blogger polona said...

since i already stated my preference i may as well say why.
this one appears more open to me and the hidden simile is quite endearing.

grandmother's chest
the questions
i never dared ask

8:26 AM  
Blogger Crafty Green Poet said...

very telling juxtaposition in this one

12:42 PM  
Blogger Adelaide said...

I prefer the grandmother haiku, maybe because my grandmother had an upright piano which no one played unless we used the player rolls.

Also, I like to think of grandmother's house which would have memories for all the grandchildren, more warming memories than the house of a maiden aunt. That's the difference, I think. The maiden aunt's house could be cold and sterile, not like the warm atmosphere at Grandma's.


7:40 PM  
Blogger Bill said...

Thanks to everyone who has commented on these. "grandmother's house" was the earlier draft, and I personally prefer it, for reasons very like those given by Adelaide. "maiden aunt" is, to me, a bit more obvious and jokier – which made me suspect that it might be the publishable version. But I like it, too, and I'm glad it seems to work.

The real piano, by the way, was in my grandmother's house.

8:52 AM  
Blogger Warren said...

"The maiden aunt" tells us much more and allows the humor to permeate the reading. Nice jux, Bill!


5:17 PM  
Blogger bandit said...

I prefer this version to the latter, Bill, for the "close" juxtaposition between images.

I have to admit I didn't catch the "jokier" aspects at first (due to this early hour?) but that is the mark of a good haiku; multiple implications.

I caught a certain sadness inherent in the structure. What fate, deliberate or unintended, befell the maiden aunt? A requiem for humankind's fallibilities.

Nice work!

3:29 AM  

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