haiku-usa

A blog devoted mainly to haiku and senryu and to thoughts about, and inspired by, haiku and senryu.

Haiku is to poetry as espresso is to coffee.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

There was a copying error in yesterday's post. This is how it should have gone

flea collar

the dog's bark

looks louder

Thanks to dana-maria for pointing this out. I've decided to leave both versions up, but this is the one I prefer.

Tikkis said...: I prefer this one!
The lines are intense;
L1 a collard, (flea - dog)
L2 just a scene, & sound.
L3 returning the reader up to L1?
How to understand now L2?
It's still there, just a dog.
(& invisible fleas.)

Great, I'd say?; 8:17 AM
collin barber said...: This one is great, Bill. I really enjoyed both of your entries in this month's kukai.

Collin; 10:10 AM
Masago said...: Agreed.; 8:05 PM
Bill said...: Thanks tikkis, collin, vaughn.; 4:44 PM