haiku-usa

A blog devoted mainly to haiku and senryu and to thoughts about, and inspired by, haiku and senryu.

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Location: New York, New York

Haiku is to poetry as espresso is to coffee.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

flea

flea collar
the dog's bark
looks bigger
Entry in the Shiki monthly kukai for July, 2007. Kigo: "flea"

5 Comments:

Anonymous aurora said...

Ha! Excellent, Bill. :)

4:42 PM  
Blogger Masago said...

Ha! Indeed!
Welcome back.

7:55 PM  
Blogger Dana-Maria Onica said...

flea collar
the dog's bark
looks louder

In my view, the original version has a more suggestive nuance as acoustic effect. It was one of my favourites: a subtle connection between the cause and the result.
Thank you, Bill.

12:12 AM  
Blogger Bill said...

Thnks for the comments, guys, and for your good wishes while I was away.

"bigger" was a copying error. I agree, dana-maria, that "louder" is stronger and more precise. I'll post that version and let visitors decide which they prefer.

6:59 AM  
Blogger indonesianegriku said...

thank's for sharing info,..!
Kerja Keras Adalah Energi Kita
INDONESIA BUMIKU

6:44 AM  

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