haiku-usa: eye

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

eye for an eye—

nothing left

to cry with

[This is borderline senryu, since it clearly overlaps with epigram.]

Anonymous said...: Good one. I could see this being part of a haibun, too.; 8:56 PM
floots said...: it works and i like it
(i couldn't sleep and it is too early for form - maybe i have just invented the insomniru)
love these recent pieces - especially "high beams"
cheers bill; 10:31 PM
Bill said...: Thanks, aurora. I'll give the haibun idea some thought.

floots, delighted you're back in action. Hope you had a good break.; 7:44 AM
josh said...: I'm liking the brevity of your recent stuff Bill. "eye" is an powerful fragment with tons of potential. I think your phrase would resonate more with me if it was, perhaps, more subtle or ambiguous?

I've been lurking as a reader of your blog for @ month now. I hope it's okay to chime in now and again.

Here's a similar one (epigram - thanks for the new word) I wrote last year:

tank top
no place to wear
his heart

Cheers,

Josh; 8:12 AM
Bill said...: Welcome aboard, Josh, and thanks for the comment.; 5:29 PM
Pat Paulk said...: Revenge is a battery acid best left out of sight. Excellent piece!!; 6:59 AM
Bill said...: Thanks, Pat. Good comment.; 9:23 AM

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