haiku-usa

A blog devoted mainly to haiku and senryu and to thoughts about, and inspired by, haiku and senryu.

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Location: New York, New York

Haiku is to poetry as espresso is to coffee.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

movie

old western
black hats white hats
in shades of gray

11 Comments:

Blogger Aurora said...

Well done!

9:45 PM  
Blogger Bill said...

Thanks, aurora.

5:01 AM  
Blogger floots said...

says so much
things were so simple
then subtlety
and
double-bluff
crept in

(i still think the best way to handle anything is to
head it off at the pass)
cheers

11:16 AM  
Blogger polona said...

welcome back, bill!
i really like this one! reminds me of those bw movies we used to watch as kids that sometimes seemed more real than life itself (but then, what did we know about life...).

2:31 PM  
Blogger Masago said...

...and of course now the Westerns (the few that are made) have plots and characters that are in shades of gray...and some are filmed in shades of pink. ;-)

Well done.

7:35 PM  
Blogger J. Andrew Lockhart said...

I absolutely love this one! makes me want to get out my old Louis L'Amour books! :)

7:41 PM  
Blogger Bill said...

Thanks floots, polona, Vaughn, and Andrew. I've always been a movie lover and taught college-level film courses for 35 years, but this has only got into a couple of poems.

8:02 PM  
Blogger Anonymous Poet said...

Very good. Very smart.

But, my mind keeps wanting to put an "and" between "black hats" and "white hats." Would that violate the haiku rules at all?

7:06 AM  
Anonymous Tikkis said...

last comment made me rewrite the story in my mind:
old western hats;
black shadows, white sky
in shades of gray

The season is slighly in the poem, so its a haiku, but who does care,
when all these (strong) hats are visible... Only first must read Bill's poem, there are the hats.

Instead of word 'and' I would try 'behind' or something ;-)

That Bill's poems lives in my mind means that the original one is a good one! The latter is just brought into my mind... Excuse me Bill, and thanks for your 3-line texts!

7:38 AM  
Blogger Bill said...

Thanks anon and tikkis.

anon: the absence of "and" is partly for the sake of rhythm, partly to suggest a checklist: the proper ingredients are in place.

tikkis: I enjoy your variation. I like it when others play with something I've written.

5:45 PM  
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7:15 AM  

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