haiku-usa: when the leaves come

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Thanks to "anonymous" (you know who you are), who suggested an improvement in the third line of this one.

I won't see it

when the leaves come

this piece of sky

Anonymous said...: Hi Bill,
I just love this haiku!
It expresses something I've often
felt as I wait for the leaves
to appear.
(Had a brief thought about "this" vs "that" in line 3?)
I see that I can post anonymously which is what I shall do for now...sure if I'm ready for visitors at my blog... (Don't know how you found it!)
Lary (Laryalee); 4:49 PM
Bill said...: Hi Anonymous: I have ways. B.; 5:46 PM
Bill said...: PS Anonymous: Thanks for you query re: "this" v. "that." "This" works better, and I'll make the revision. I hoped when I set up this blog that I'd get helpful criticisms, suggestions, etc., since I don't personally know anyone who writes haiku or reads it regularly.; 5:51 PM
Cooper said...: I always wanted to try it. Perhaps will one day when I have the time.
This is great.; 8:20 PM
Bill said...: aliceinwonderland: Don't wait until you're 72. On the other hand, if you find you've reached 72 without writing haiku, it's not too late. Thanks for your visit and your comment.; 9:28 AM
Anonymous said...: Ah, now I'm trying the "other" identity, lol!
Bill, I left a note for you in my own blog...I belong to a couple of haiku workshops which you would probably enjoy a lot.

Also, there's a monthly event called a "kukai" which is a lot of fun.; 12:49 PM

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