haiku-usa

A blog devoted mainly to haiku and senryu and to thoughts about, and inspired by, haiku and senryu.

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Location: New York, New York

Haiku is to poetry as espresso is to coffee.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

when the leaves come

Thanks to "anonymous" (you know who you are), who suggested an improvement in the third line of this one.
I won't see it
when the leaves come
this piece of sky

7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Bill,
I just love this haiku!
It expresses something I've often
felt as I wait for the leaves
to appear.
(Had a brief thought about "this" vs "that" in line 3?)
I see that I can post anonymously which is what I shall do for now...sure if I'm ready for visitors at my blog... (Don't know how you found it!)
Lary (Laryalee)

4:49 PM  
Blogger Bill said...

Hi Anonymous: I have ways. B.

5:46 PM  
Blogger Bill said...

PS Anonymous: Thanks for you query re: "this" v. "that." "This" works better, and I'll make the revision. I hoped when I set up this blog that I'd get helpful criticisms, suggestions, etc., since I don't personally know anyone who writes haiku or reads it regularly.

5:51 PM  
Blogger Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

I always wanted to try it. Perhaps will one day when I have the time.
This is great.

8:20 PM  
Blogger Bill said...

aliceinwonderland: Don't wait until you're 72. On the other hand, if you find you've reached 72 without writing haiku, it's not too late. Thanks for your visit and your comment.

9:28 AM  
Anonymous Laryalee said...

Ah, now I'm trying the "other" identity, lol!
Bill, I left a note for you in my own blog...I belong to a couple of haiku workshops which you would probably enjoy a lot.

Also, there's a monthly event called a "kukai" which is a lot of fun.

12:49 PM  
Blogger indonesianegriku said...

thank's for sharing info,..!
Kerja Keras Adalah Energi Kita
INDONESIA BUMIKU

7:53 AM  

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