A blog devoted mainly to haiku and senryu and to thoughts about, and inspired by, haiku and senryu.

My Photo
Location: New York, New York

Haiku is to poetry as espresso is to coffee.

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

after: #1

a bit drunk
stepping lightly
in the spring wind

Ryokan (1758-1831)

This is the first in a series of "afters" I'll be posting here from time to time. An "after" is a version–a free translation (inevitably free, since I don't read Japanese)/imitation/adaptation–of a haiku or senryu by one of the Japanese masters; in this case, as indicated, Ryokan. What I'm going for in each case is something that will pass muster as an English-language haiku, rather than a literal duplication of the original. If I don't convey exactly what the original says, I hope I express what it makes me want to say.

NB: It's not entirely impossible that my version might inadvertently match a version already published somewhere else by somebody else. If you're aware of this, please let me know.


Blogger Gillena Cox said...

looking forward to more in this series

much love

11:47 AM  
Blogger John McDonald said...

go for it Bill love the idea

3:13 PM  
Blogger Bill said...

Thanks for the encouraging words, Gillena and John.

7:56 PM  
Blogger Devika Jyothi said...

I too would be interested, Bill :)


10:41 PM  
Blogger Ralf Bröker said...

Great project. Reauthoring a classical haiku might import the spirit and build an up-to-date-surrounding for it.

Best wishes

PS: Giggeling while rain drops fall in her champagner - what a nice verse!

4:35 PM  
Blogger Frank... said...

I too look forward to more in this series...

6:20 AM  
Blogger Tikkis said...

Thanks Bill. I spent a while all over reading more Ryokan, but also Santoka. And about the kigo-word ”Spring”. Found this word from Internet, thanks to www:

Haruichiban: the first strong southerly wind of spring

haru higan; literary beyond the border of this world

Haruichiban –
a warm breath
beyond this world

2:11 AM  
Blogger Henrique Pimenta said...

eu gostei


5:21 AM  
Blogger Bill said...

Thanks, Frank, Tikkis and Henrique.

Henrique, good to meet you.

Tikkis, could that be "from beyond?"

7:45 AM  
Blogger Tikkis said...

Sure! And how the lines:?

Haruichiban –
from beyond this world
a warm breath

tikkis 30.11.2010

1:47 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home