haiku-usa

A blog devoted mainly to haiku and senryu and to thoughts about, and inspired by, haiku and senryu.

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Location: New York, New York

Haiku is to poetry as espresso is to coffee.

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

after: #1

a bit drunk
stepping lightly
in the spring wind

Ryokan (1758-1831)

This is the first in a series of "afters" I'll be posting here from time to time. An "after" is a version–a free translation (inevitably free, since I don't read Japanese)/imitation/adaptation–of a haiku or senryu by one of the Japanese masters; in this case, as indicated, Ryokan. What I'm going for in each case is something that will pass muster as an English-language haiku, rather than a literal duplication of the original. If I don't convey exactly what the original says, I hope I express what it makes me want to say.

NB: It's not entirely impossible that my version might inadvertently match a version already published somewhere else by somebody else. If you're aware of this, please let me know.

10 Comments:

Blogger Gillena Cox said...

looking forward to more in this series

much love
gillena

11:47 AM  
Blogger John McDonald said...

go for it Bill love the idea
john

3:13 PM  
Blogger Bill said...

Thanks for the encouraging words, Gillena and John.

7:56 PM  
Blogger Devika said...

I too would be interested, Bill :)

wishes,
devika

10:41 PM  
Blogger Ralf Bröker said...

Great project. Reauthoring a classical haiku might import the spirit and build an up-to-date-surrounding for it.

Best wishes
Ralf

PS: Giggeling while rain drops fall in her champagner - what a nice verse!

4:35 PM  
Blogger Frank said...

I too look forward to more in this series...

6:20 AM  
Blogger Tikkis said...

Thanks Bill. I spent a while all over reading more Ryokan, but also Santoka. And about the kigo-word ”Spring”. Found this word from Internet, thanks to www:

Haruichiban: the first strong southerly wind of spring

haru higan; literary beyond the border of this world

Haruichiban –
a warm breath
beyond this world

2:11 AM  
Blogger Henrique Pimenta said...

eu gostei

mesmo

5:21 AM  
Blogger Bill said...

Thanks, Frank, Tikkis and Henrique.

Henrique, good to meet you.

Tikkis, could that be "from beyond?"

7:45 AM  
Blogger Tikkis said...

Sure! And how the lines:?

Haruichiban –
from beyond this world
a warm breath

tikkis 30.11.2010

1:47 AM  

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