A blog devoted mainly to haiku and senryu and to thoughts about, and inspired by, haiku and senryu.

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Location: New York, New York

Haiku is to poetry as espresso is to coffee.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

April sunlight

April sunlight
the iridescence of starlings
on a dumpster

"Iridescence" isn't a word that often pops into my mind, but that's precisely what happened in the moment.


Blogger Frank Williams said...

They are iridescencent and cheeky little chaps that brighten up the dullest of days. Nice obervation, Bill...

8:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello Bill,

I understand what you want to express, but I don't manage to translate it into French.

Perhaps :


Lumière d'avril -
le miroitement des étourneaux
sur la décharge


What do you think about it ?

Le haïku est réussi !

8:52 AM  
Blogger Danièle Duteil said...

Nice contrasts !

10:51 AM  
Blogger Bill said...

Thank you, Frank and Daniele.

Thanks for the translation, Marcel. "miroitemont" seems to liquefy my starlings. Would "chatoiement" work?

1:24 PM  
Blogger monikathomapetit said...

Hi Bill et Marcel,

the exact term for "iridescence" in French is "irisation".

What do you think of this :

soleil d'avril
l'irisation des étourneaux
sur une benne à ordures

4:26 PM  
Blogger Bill said...

Thanks, Monika. "irisation" is new to me. Let's see what Marcel thinks of it.

I think "decharge" has the advantage of matching more closely the rhythm of the original, which is a consideration in translating poetry.

4:59 PM  
Anonymous Monika said...

I agree with you, Bill, about the advantage (rythm) to use "décharge". But I've been wondering if it means exacly the same thing as "dumpster". (I thought : décharge = garbage dump; dumpster = benne à ordure ou poubelle. But I might be wrong).

5:40 PM  
Blogger Woodsong said...

What a marvelous haiku blog. How do you keep it up
with such consistency for five years?

I love your motto, "Haiku is to poetry as espresso is to coffee," may I quote you in a column?

7:24 PM  
Blogger Magyar said...

__That blueish black in the Sun, such a contrary to the dumpster.
__Well seen, Bill! _m

7:45 PM  
Blogger Masago said...

:-) !!!

8:11 PM  
Blogger Bill said...

Monika, you're right. The choice would be between literal accuracy and rhythmic equivalency; it's the kind of choice translators of poetry must make constantly.

Thanks, Doug and Vaughn.

Woodsong, thanks for the comment. Tell me more about the column.

8:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bill, Monika, Franck, Danièle, a.s.o.

Yes, with "irisation", I thought about it...

Very good exchanges about haïku.

12:24 AM  
Blogger Danièle Duteil said...

"Irisation" is good. It intensifies the mixing of flashing lights and darkness.

1:29 AM  
Blogger Tikkis said...

At first a draft version in Finnish :-)

huhtikuun auringonpaiste
kottarainen kimmeltää

... kimmeltää --- in French also miroitement ...

chatoiement = kimmellys, =ok.

a dumpster occupied
by some starlings --
walking to the next one

11:47 AM  
Blogger Bill said...

Thanks again, Marcel, for the translation, and thanks, Daniele, for the input.

Daniele, when I visit your blog I'm forced to accept downloads I don't want.

Neat, tikkis.

7:38 PM  
Blogger T.Migratorius said...

The third line here gave a little punch and surprised me with the dumpster. Nice one Bill!

8:59 PM  
Blogger Bill said...

Thank you, T. Good to hear from you.

8:04 AM  

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