haiku-usa

A blog devoted mainly to haiku and senryu and to thoughts about, and inspired by, haiku and senryu.

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Haiku is to poetry as espresso is to coffee.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

April sunlight

April sunlight
the iridescence of starlings
on a dumpster

"Iridescence" isn't a word that often pops into my mind, but that's precisely what happened in the moment.

17 Comments:

Blogger Frank Williams said...

They are iridescencent and cheeky little chaps that brighten up the dullest of days. Nice obervation, Bill...

8:12 AM  
Blogger Marcel Peltier said...

Hello Bill,

I understand what you want to express, but I don't manage to translate it into French.

Perhaps :

+

Lumière d'avril -
le miroitement des étourneaux
sur la décharge

+

What do you think about it ?

Le haïku est réussi !

8:52 AM  
Blogger Danièle Duteil said...

Nice contrasts !

10:51 AM  
Blogger Bill said...

Thank you, Frank and Daniele.

Thanks for the translation, Marcel. "miroitemont" seems to liquefy my starlings. Would "chatoiement" work?

1:24 PM  
Blogger monikathomapetit said...

Hi Bill et Marcel,

the exact term for "iridescence" in French is "irisation".

What do you think of this :

soleil d'avril
l'irisation des étourneaux
sur une benne à ordures

4:26 PM  
Blogger Bill said...

Thanks, Monika. "irisation" is new to me. Let's see what Marcel thinks of it.

I think "decharge" has the advantage of matching more closely the rhythm of the original, which is a consideration in translating poetry.

4:59 PM  
Anonymous Monika said...

I agree with you, Bill, about the advantage (rythm) to use "décharge". But I've been wondering if it means exacly the same thing as "dumpster". (I thought : décharge = garbage dump; dumpster = benne à ordure ou poubelle. But I might be wrong).

5:40 PM  
Blogger Woodsong said...

What a marvelous haiku blog. How do you keep it up
with such consistency for five years?

I love your motto, "Haiku is to poetry as espresso is to coffee," may I quote you in a column?

7:24 PM  
Blogger Magyar said...

__That blueish black in the Sun, such a contrary to the dumpster.
__Well seen, Bill! _m

7:45 PM  
Blogger Masago said...

:-) !!!

8:11 PM  
Blogger Bill said...

Monika, you're right. The choice would be between literal accuracy and rhythmic equivalency; it's the kind of choice translators of poetry must make constantly.

Thanks, Doug and Vaughn.

Woodsong, thanks for the comment. Tell me more about the column.

8:33 PM  
Blogger Marcel Peltier said...

Bill, Monika, Franck, Danièle, a.s.o.

Yes, with "irisation", I thought about it...

Very good exchanges about haïku.

12:24 AM  
Blogger Danièle Duteil said...

"Irisation" is good. It intensifies the mixing of flashing lights and darkness.

1:29 AM  
Blogger Tikkis said...

At first a draft version in Finnish :-)

huhtikuun auringonpaiste
kottarainen kimmeltää
roskiksella

... kimmeltää --- in French also miroitement ...

chatoiement = kimmellys, =ok.



a dumpster occupied
by some starlings --
walking to the next one

11:47 AM  
Blogger Bill said...

Thanks again, Marcel, for the translation, and thanks, Daniele, for the input.

Daniele, when I visit your blog I'm forced to accept downloads I don't want.

Neat, tikkis.

7:38 PM  
Blogger T.Migratorius said...

The third line here gave a little punch and surprised me with the dumpster. Nice one Bill!

8:59 PM  
Blogger Bill said...

Thank you, T. Good to hear from you.

8:04 AM  

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