I agree with you, Bill, about the advantage (rythm) to use "décharge". But I've been wondering if it means exacly the same thing as "dumpster". (I thought : décharge = garbage dump; dumpster = benne à ordure ou poubelle. But I might be wrong).
Monika, you're right. The choice would be between literal accuracy and rhythmic equivalency; it's the kind of choice translators of poetry must make constantly.
Thanks, Doug and Vaughn.
Woodsong, thanks for the comment. Tell me more about the column.
17 Comments:
They are iridescencent and cheeky little chaps that brighten up the dullest of days. Nice obervation, Bill...
Hello Bill,
I understand what you want to express, but I don't manage to translate it into French.
Perhaps :
+
Lumière d'avril -
le miroitement des étourneaux
sur la décharge
+
What do you think about it ?
Le haïku est réussi !
Nice contrasts !
Thank you, Frank and Daniele.
Thanks for the translation, Marcel. "miroitemont" seems to liquefy my starlings. Would "chatoiement" work?
Hi Bill et Marcel,
the exact term for "iridescence" in French is "irisation".
What do you think of this :
soleil d'avril
l'irisation des étourneaux
sur une benne à ordures
Thanks, Monika. "irisation" is new to me. Let's see what Marcel thinks of it.
I think "decharge" has the advantage of matching more closely the rhythm of the original, which is a consideration in translating poetry.
I agree with you, Bill, about the advantage (rythm) to use "décharge". But I've been wondering if it means exacly the same thing as "dumpster". (I thought : décharge = garbage dump; dumpster = benne à ordure ou poubelle. But I might be wrong).
What a marvelous haiku blog. How do you keep it up
with such consistency for five years?
I love your motto, "Haiku is to poetry as espresso is to coffee," may I quote you in a column?
__That blueish black in the Sun, such a contrary to the dumpster.
__Well seen, Bill! _m
:-) !!!
Monika, you're right. The choice would be between literal accuracy and rhythmic equivalency; it's the kind of choice translators of poetry must make constantly.
Thanks, Doug and Vaughn.
Woodsong, thanks for the comment. Tell me more about the column.
Bill, Monika, Franck, Danièle, a.s.o.
Yes, with "irisation", I thought about it...
Very good exchanges about haïku.
"Irisation" is good. It intensifies the mixing of flashing lights and darkness.
At first a draft version in Finnish :-)
huhtikuun auringonpaiste
kottarainen kimmeltää
roskiksella
... kimmeltää --- in French also miroitement ...
chatoiement = kimmellys, =ok.
a dumpster occupied
by some starlings --
walking to the next one
Thanks again, Marcel, for the translation, and thanks, Daniele, for the input.
Daniele, when I visit your blog I'm forced to accept downloads I don't want.
Neat, tikkis.
The third line here gave a little punch and surprised me with the dumpster. Nice one Bill!
Thank you, T. Good to hear from you.
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