open sky revisited
After posting "open sky" here the other day, I posted it at magnapoets (see links) as I often do. But it turned up there with an unintended change in format. To my surprise, people who read it over there liked it like that. I thought I'd post it here and give you a look. Since it's already been published, this is not an issue, but I wonder how many editors would tolerate this departure from the norm.
open sky . . .
in a field of wildflowers
I look for words
posted by Bill | 12:55 PM
6 Comments:
Bill,
_It stretches the 'open sky' further above the field of wildflowers. That empty added line (to me) adds that 'visual' feel of space.
_May that be where the words, for which you (we all?) are looking, are 'afloat?'
_m
That's a great reading, Vaughn. Thanks.
Graphically well cooked up! :-)
(It's important for many poets, but now also haiku!)
I agree with Magyar. A four-liner?
This is working when published in a blog.
the double spacing after line one doesn't bother me Bill, but, along with the ellipses at the end of line one, personally, I feel that it creates to much of a pause.
Oops. Apologies to Magyar (I thought I read "masago"). A great reading still
Thanks, tikkis. With one line invisible?
I see your point, Gene. Thanks.
I think this formatting works well, because it adds space, indicating the height of the sky above the person.
Post a Comment
<< Home