haiku-usa

A blog devoted mainly to haiku and senryu and to thoughts about, and inspired by, haiku and senryu.

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Haiku is to poetry as espresso is to coffee.

Monday, May 04, 2015

hazy

drifting from dream to dream hazy moon

Shiki Monthly Kukai, April 2015. Assigned topic "spring dreams" ("hazy moon" is a spring kigo)

Another possibility:

hazy moon drifting from dream to dream

6 Comments:

Blogger haiku-shelf said...

I like the second version.

Hazy moon drifting from dream to dream.

12:06 PM  
Blogger Magyar said...

Bill, Nifty_!
__I like to >drift< through my dreams, it seems one will always step out to overcome the rest; the >hazy moon< may cloud the errors of my choices._m

12:41 PM  
Blogger Tikkis said...

I translated yours as follow:

ajelehtii unesta uneen utuinen kuu

simply a word by word

Your # 2 is as follows then:

utuinen kuu ajelehtii unesta uneen

Hmn, sounds slightly different, fresh! :-)

see here


my dreams
drifting
with a hazy moon

11:39 PM  
Blogger Bill said...

Thanks, Angelika. At the moment, can't remember why I chose one rather than the other. They are different, I think, in the feeling they evoke.

Thanks, M. I find I'm dreaming more these days, or remembering my dreams more at least. At my age, remembering anything is an accomplishment.

The sound patterns in the Finnish are fascinating, tikkis, at least to look at. I can only guess at what this sounds like read aloud in your language.

9:31 AM  
Blogger Crafty Green Poet said...

lovely

8:41 AM  
Blogger Out of Sight L said...

I love both, differently beautiful. Ok 2nd slightly more ;)

3:30 AM  

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