haiku-usa

A blog devoted mainly to haiku and senryu and to thoughts about, and inspired by, haiku and senryu.

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Location: New York, New York

Haiku is to poetry as espresso is to coffee.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

spring chronicle

Since March 14, about a week before the official start of spring, I've been posting a number of haiku and senryu on the theme of the approach and arrival of the season. Just for the hell of it, I am here re-posting, in the order of composition, all the poems on the subject I've posted before. They were not written as a sequence, but I find that, rather like "Back from the Berkshires," an earlier post, they form a kind of accidental chronicle: The coming of spring as perceived from one spot in the universe. The only newly posted poems here are the last two, #11 and #12. Anyone who has visited before and/or simply isn't interested in reading the old stuff should skip to those.
1
March 14
almost spring
scattering of crocus
rising from the mud
2
March 15
rising from the mud
the purple brag of crocus
ready for the spring
3
March 16
on this brisk morning
that young woman's naked toes
are pointing to spring
4
March 18
looking for spring
the eye is held—
one mound of snow
5
March 20
Passion Sunday
palm branches
waving hello
6
March 20
growing fond of it
last mound of snow
shrinking into spring
7
March 20
first day of spring
chill rain
snow almost gone
8
March 21
another spring
a year older
up early
9
March 21
early spring
chill in the air
waiting for spring
10
March 22
patch of snow
yesterday a mound
the pace of spring
11
March 22
did the sun come out
this afternoon—
busy at my desk
12
March 23
spring rain
changing to snow
that will change

6 Comments:

Blogger Gone Away said...

on this brisk morning
that young woman's naked toes are pointing to spring

A favorite on your site as I read this. Although you may have purposed it to be 5-7-5, I'd like to see it tightened a little on the first line as a simple:

brisk morning—

10:50 PM  
Blogger Gone Away said...

looking for spring
the eye is held--
one mound of snow

There is something I like about this one, too. I visualize an eye centered atop the mound of snow (just my quirky mind); might a word like "gaze" work? In the breath rhythm of English, when speaking it aloud, my ear wants to hear the kire (break) after the first line, perhaps with an em dash, making it the "fragment," as Jane Reichhold puts it, and allowing the following 2 lines be the "phrase" through saying "by one mound of snow"

A thought anywho...

11:24 PM  
Blogger Gone Away said...

did the sun come out
this afternoon—
busy at my desk

And I can really relate to this one (seems a muki/seasonless haiku outside the series).

A pleasure to read your haiku.

By the way, if you want a real em dash — (long dash used in poetry, etc.) instead of double dashes --you can hold down the ALT key with your left hand while typing 0151 on your number pad. A few editors might be glad for it when you submit your works (especially MDW).

11:31 PM  
Blogger Bill said...

I was consciously aiming for 5-7-5 by the time I approached the final draft, and that may have blinded me to the possibility you suggest.

6:41 AM  
Blogger Bill said...

Thanks for the tip on the em dash, and for all your comments. I don't belong to a haiku group; in fact, I don't personally know any haiku writers. The hope of receiving pointed and thoughtful comments like yours was one of my motives for setting up the blog.

11:21 AM  
Blogger indonesianegriku said...

thank's for sharing info,..!
Kerja Keras Adalah Energi Kita
INDONESIA BUMIKU

7:55 AM  

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